Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The empty slot of the musical God...................

What does the 'millennium generation' bang its head to???(am referring to head-banging here).... who are the strummers with a heart and attitude to die for???? OK my efforts at an interesting start being at a low ebb, i will get to the point.........
THIS GENERATION DOESN'T HAVE A DISTURBED, OBSESSIVE, HONEST-TONGUED (more like slap-tongued) MUSICAL GOD TO LOOK UP TO!!!!!!! You don't believe it?? Lemme explain.
1950's had Elvis. 1960's had The Beatles and Rolling Stones. 1970's had Pink Floyd and Led Zappelin. 1980's had Metallica and Guns n Roses. 1990's had Nirvana, again Metallica and even Spice Girls.......
Whom do we have??? Green Day maybe........but they haven't got the required number of controversies to their name. U2???( puh-leese!!!! they are ok at the most) Linkin Park is great but lyrics are mediocre (however the song 'what i have done?' gives me hope). Hoobastank also needs a lyricyst urgently. Coldplay doesn't have the hard edge nor the fantastic songs.
Now i would not have had to write this article if Eminem had been a rockstar and not a rapstar.He is deliciously controversial, his lyrics are disgustingly honest, and he has this morbid sense that makes his attitude just right for today's times. But but but he happens to be a rapstar. Rap can never create the high and the frenzy that rock(in the loose sense of the word) can create.....
So the slot is still open for the musical God of the millennium...........Point made. Article finished.

Friday, July 11, 2008

well i created this tag coz i ashamed of the pitiful number of Indian books i have read........i hope some of you are sailing in the same boat too........
#bold and italicize the ones you have read.....
# italicize the ones you wish to read.....

  1. Feluda- Satyajit Ray
  2. Q & A- Vikas Swarup
  3. The Namesake- Jhumpa Lahiri
  4. The Inheritance of Loss- Kiran Desai
  5. Any book by Swami Vivekananda
  6. A Suitable Boy- Vikram Seth
  7. Two Lives- Vikram Seth
  8. Sacred Games- Vikram Chandra
  9. Almost an Ambassador- Rajit Dogra
  10. Maximum City - Suketu Mehta
  11. Five Point Someone- Chetan Bhagat
  12. Three Mistakes of my Life- Chetan Bhagat
  13. One Night at the Call Center- Chetan Bhagat
  14. Mowgli- Ruskin Bond
  15. The Zigzag Way-Anita Desai
  16. My Experiments with Truth- Mahatma Gandhi
  17. The God of Small Thing-Arundhati Roy
  18. How I Taught my Grandmother to Read and other stories-Sudha Murthy
  19. Malgudi Days-R.K. Narayan
  20. Ramayana-Rajagopalachari
  21. The Train to Pakistan-Khushwant Singh
  22. Selective Memory-Shobhaa De
  23. A Fine Balance-Rohinton Mistry
  24. A House for Mr. Biswas- V.S. Naipaul
  25. The Last Song of Dusk- Siddhant Sanghvi
  26. Once upon a Time Zone- Neelesh Mishra
  27. Wise and Otherwise- Sudha Murthy
  28. The Last Mughal- William Dalrymple
well i may have may have missed quite a few books........please forgive my lack of knowledge........

Top 100 Novels (according to someone)

* Bold the ones you’ve read, or are reading ... [Ted at bookeywookey had colored them yellow,we going to use this one.
* Blue means I particularly enjoyed it,
* Red means I did not enjoy it)
* Italicize the ones you want to read
* Leave blank the ones that you neither want to read nor don’t want to read
* Strike the ones you have no desire to read
* If you are reading this, tag, you’re it!

1. The DaVinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21 The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984(Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. The Bible
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According to Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice and Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


I actually want to make an inventory of all the utterly useless and pointless thoughts that go through my head every day. (For eg. i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny,i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny, i am funny......)
NO. 1 Why i totally agree with the American couch potato.........
People do various things when they are suddenly alone in the house. Some eat the forbidden chocolates and cakes, some dance wildly to ear splitting music, some invite friends over and start boozing......and what do i do?????......i do something that i would hate being caught doing. i watch television.
In my defense, i only watch the crap that comes on channels like Star World and Zee Cafe. Any show thats running will do for me. Here is a list of shows that i have watched and never before admitted.
1. The O.C. ( stupid teenage drama.......cant relate to it at all......then why do i watch it????.....beats me)
2. the Ellen show ( quite fun really....but useless in terms of content value)
3. Friends ( my favourite!!!!!!)
4. Seinfeld ( i watch it because it comes before Friends)
5. American idol ( really good singers)
6. My wife and kids ( really cute and happy)
7. Lost ( interesting story and two very handsome actors)
8. Beauty and the Brains ( funny)
9 The wedding planner ( nice)

No.2: Another useless thought....
I saw the picture of a teddy bear in the newspaper and i got this thought........barbies these days are really glam......G.I. joes are getting sexier all the time.....but the teddy bear has always remained this fat, cuddly thing.........wht if some nut decides to introduce this slim and fit teddy bear???????........i bet there will be a huge furore over it......columnists will start writing about how todays generation has a terrible body image....nd how they obsess over their bodies.....nd how this characteristic is reflected in the slim teddy bear.........
( i kno this sounds incomplete bt this is where my thought processes stopped)

No.3: Another one........
There i was wording the old cliche, " i dont understand art and what's more i dont think there is any meaning to it." Then this friend of mine says, "ya i thought so too......but when we had gone to an art gallery as part of a student excursion, i was viewing the paintings along with this teacher. There was a particular painting in which there was this expressionless girl writing a letter. beside her table was a waste basket containing a lot of crumpled paper. The painting was titled 'frustration'. my teacher had a smile on her face so i asked her if the painting makes sense to her. She said that the frustration felt by the girl is symbolized by the amount of waste paper in the basket." So now i have no opinion on art left.

No4: And another.....
Through my teenage life i have seen guys use some lines ........however heartfelt their adoration may be , there are some lines i will never believe......here are few of them.........
1) "Baby, i cant live without you"- But guys, you also cant live without your mom, television and that damned iPOD. I would feel right foolish to feel happy when a guy says that to me.
2)"I can't stop thinking of you."- If that is so then what is that Playboy still doing on your desk?????
3)" You are the girl of my dreams"- With Carla Bruni and Anjelina Jolie still alive and kicking in this world, I doubt guys sleep long enough to dream of anybody else.
4) "I love you"- Its not that i don't think guys can love........its just that i prefer, " i am in love with you." Princess Mia of The Princess Diaries series said very correctly that you can love your dog, cat, food and blah blah. But you can never be in love with them.

No.5:The strange 'w'..........
Dublew- these are the six alphabets required just to pronounce one alphabet ie 'w'. I find it strange and pointless. (I want to right something more after this...any ideas???)

Sunday, May 25, 2008

WHAT IF…………….

What if the cat never chased the rat?
And their enmity is all false rot?
Would you still have exclaimed at Tom and Jerry?
While they frolicked and fought?

What if we become incapable of laughter?
Would we jest and joke at all?
What would become of Santa and Banta…..?
Would a smile suffice a comic fall?

What if the cool breeze never blew?
What would make the trees sway?
Would the soulless A.C. be
The only respite after a tiring day?

What if we forget the colors of sunset?
And the sweet scent of flowers?
What if its happening right now and you don’t know it?
Maybe we should slow down a bit……………

- the hobbit


Friday, April 11, 2008


Boards were for some people a very tough period. For me it was a period of fascination and wonder because of the sheer changes it brought in my life. Here is a list of the things I learnt along with trigonometric ratios and co-ordinate geometry……….


10th graders suddenly discover that the world is filled with well-wishers who have your success in the exam foremost in their minds. But the downside to this is that it all gets far too repetitive. I was amazed by the sheer number of people who called to say best of luck and the sheer number of times I said thank you in the merriest possible note. Disgusted by my own repetitiveness I checked the thesaurus for some versions of thank you. But when I started using ‘much obliged’, ‘many thanks’ and ‘much appreciated’, it sounded weird and ungracious even to my own self. In the end I stuck to ‘thank you’ ignoring how much I had come to detest those two words.


I blame this particular phenomenon on the madness surrounding 10th. Students start harbouring queer notions that scoring moderately in boards is an unpardonable crime and that being buried into a book for several consecutive hours is the key to cracking the exam. This makes them unpleasant to the extent that one starts understanding why scientists are said to be so temperamental and cranky. I always maintain that keep a drunkard and a 10th grader side by side and you will be hard pressed to guess which is which for both mumble rubbish which no one can make sense out of, both go into a rage at the slightest provocation and both start believing that their wish should be everyone’s command.


Here is a story- I was in 8th std. and was playing happily with my friends. Mr. Somebody no.1 who lived in my colony, was passing by the road. He smiled at us and asked, “In which std. are you all studying?” “8th,” we all chorused enthusiastically. His smile turned into a wide beam and he said, “Two years are left for 10th then.” We nodded politely and he left. When I was in 9th once again playing happily with my friends, Mr. Somebody no.2 asked us, “In which std. are you all?” “9th,” one of us replied. With a smirk Mr. Somebody no.2 said, “Is that so? Then a year is left for your 10th” and went away. When I was in 10th, coming home in the evening, tired and red-eyed from the 3hr class, Mr. Somebody no.3 smilingly approached me and enquired, “Sukanya, in which std. are you?” “10th,” I replied with a forced smile. With uncontained relish he said, “My dear, now you have to study hard. Computer, playing, television abhi sab kam kardo.” On observing his obvious delight upon me being in 10th, I came to know the meaning of sadism.


From praying diligently to God every morning and evening, feeding the child badams, glucose, pistachios etc and staying awake till whatever nocturnal hours the child chooses, grandmothers indeed undertake a very grueling task. God suddenly finds his portrait garlanded every day instead of once in three days. The pharmacist’s profits are increased by the purchase of various tonics and intelligence enhancing oils. Where the child would have had to travel to the kitchen every time he wanted some tidbit, he would suddenly find everything placed right in front of him by the grandmother who has taken upon herself to be the most efficient delivery service.

BOARDIASIS- This is an unregistered disease that only affects mothers whose children are in 10th. I would like every doctor to make a note of it because there is an urgent need for a cure to this disease. AIDS, cancer, leprosy, obesity can all wait as far as we 10th graders are concerned.

If you see a mother with a frown on her face and an air of dejection about her sometime in the months of June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January, February, March ( and sometimes April and May) you can place a safe bet that she suffers from ‘Boardiasis.’ There are 3 stages to this particular disease. They are:

1) The advising stage: Mothers suddenly get it into their heads that their children are really very ignorant. Food habits, whether you keep your nails cut and cleaned, whether you wake up every morning at exactly 5 minutes to 6, can all affect performance so a lecture on each of these issues is absolutely essential.

2) The nagging stage: Mothers realize that all their advice is not being heeded to by their offspring. This considerably hurts their pride and they begin to irritate them. If you drink 9 and a half glasses of water instead of 10 then according to your mother you have committed a crime which cannot be ignored. The sweet, patient mother is replaced by an unrecognizable person who is constantly emitting high pitch and high energy sounds which aren’t really making much sense. The sounds all have beginnings which are variations of ‘Why won’t you listen to me??????’ This stage however lasts till the last week of March.

3) The scared-stiff stage: The symptom for this stage is when mothers start having various nightmares concerning the exams. Its either images of a certificate showing ‘FAIL’ in bold red letters, the child arriving late the venue or falling from a 20 storey building ( how the child has gotten on a 20 storey building is a mystery but not very important as far as she is concerned) or the child developing an as yet undiscovered disease. Poets who called mothers fearless, calm and composed might consider rethinking their opinions after seeing the mother in this stage.

Every little thing becomes a cause for worry. The height of this worry is when she scrutinizes the child’s breathing because it has become somewhat uneven since a few seconds back!
Don’t know if you will agree with me on all this but I sure observed all these points. Please feel free to mention any more things that may occur to you.

-the hobbit


Saturday, December 29, 2007


It was early in the morning that day. We i.e. my mother and I were bidding my maternal uncle goodbye. He was scheduled to catch the 8.30 flight to Bangalore. We were just waiting for a taxi to turn up when a jogger passed by from the front of our house. As is my dog Snoopy’s custom, he kept staring at that jogger. For some unknown reason even we were staring at that jogger. That jogger looked at us and then turned his attention to Snoopy. The jogger’s face burst into a smile and he waved a friendly hand at Snoopy. Snoopy too gave a few enthusiastic barks. The jogger gave a short laugh and went his way.
So you might be wondering what is the point of this……..well, its true that there is nothing extraordinary about this. Even I, at that time did not find this incident to be of any special importance. Actually it’s what my uncle said after observing this that really hit me on the head. He said, “Look, that man greeted Snoopy knowing that he will get a better response from a dog.”
Isn’t it very true? Otherwise why would a man not greet another man but a dog? And this is not just the one time. I have to admit that Snoopy is more popular than anybody in our family. He attracts scores of people- children, teenagers, the elders, my colony people and so many strangers that it totally amazes me.
Before I used to frown with impatience looking at how people really pamper their dogs. But now the reason is becoming clearer to me. Unknowingly even I do the same with my dog, knowing that however he reacts, it will be true and sincere.
After my uncle went, I went to my room and remembered what many people had told me and I had come to believe, that man is a social animal. Now it seems like the biggest irony to me………………….

Note: let me assure you, this isn’t a tale I have made up. It actually happened with me. I hope after reading this you will realize that we have some serious thinking and reviewing to do.

- the hobbit

Thursday, August 30, 2007


NAME : Snoopy, the dog (not the famous one in Peanuts, but another simple dog).
Age: 7yrs, 8 months, 20 days, 5 hrs, 20 minutes, 4 seconds (preciseness is my life-long motto)
Breed: undetectable (it seems that I am a cross between a beagle, retriever, Alsatian and a Doberman, my parents being cross-breeds themselves. )
Subject: Few insights into my life as a dog.

August 20th, 2007
Last night my master’s bike got stolen. The mistress lays the blame on me knowing fully well that my indignant protestations don’t make sense to anybody. My master, never one to argue with the mistress, has agreed upon this. He remarks that when I seem to bark all day long at anything and everything that comes into my plane of vision, why didn’t even a whimper escape from my mouth at the time of the theft. This remark I feel is a distortion of truth. I don’t bark all day long. I only bark at any cat that ever existed, the milkman, the newspaper boy, the post-man, laundry man, the servant, any person who looks at me, any bird that sits on the fence and the occasional plant that rustles due to the breeze. That doesn’t constitute anything and everything! There are lots of things I don’t bark at like………..like……..like…well I cant think of anything offhand, but I am certain there are things that I don’t bark at. Returning to the present: how was I supposed to know that a theft would occur at the exact moment that I would shut my eyes from guard duty? Clearly being a dog is a 24/7 job.
August 31st, 2007
Today was quite a puzzling day for me. My mistress’s mother’s cousin’s husband’s sister’s daughter and her 5 month old son came to our house today. ( ‘ Blood is thicker than water’ is our family slogan.) Meena (the visitor) seemed to have come to invite our family to the wedding of her distant cousin’s aunt’s distant niece who was somehow related to my mistress in some distant way. After the initial pleasantries, Meena came towards me carrying her baby. Always eager to keep everybody happy, I smiled at them, putting into it all the warmth that I could muster. But the baby just took one look at me and instead of the expected chuckling and smiling that I feel makes them look quite comic, it burst into tears, bawling volubly. Even the mother had the look of one who had cut an especially fleshy and healthy looking fruit to find it rotten inside. After that, the mother only shot side glances at me, never looking at me directly. For the life of me, I cannot understand what went wrong.
September 8th ,2007
My guardian angel seems to have taken an ill-timed vacation, for the vet came to visit me today. I must admit that I have emerged out of this incident without a shred of dignity left. All I wish for right now is for a blanket which can keep me hidden till eternity.
I had decided before the vet’s arrival that I will fight unto death but I will not allow him to stick a needle into me. Strengthened by this new resolve, I, upon his arrival, barked and snarled at him with utmost vigor, with the most menacing expression on my face. But while all this might have made any layman scurry the way a man scurries when his wife is in full swing, my vet did not even raise his eyes to look at me. He just raised his voice a little and told my master, “I will finish this work as fast as possible. Your dog sounds frightened as it is.” This remark shocked me so much as to shut me up for 10 whole seconds. It took me some time to retaliate with a bark, but that bark seemed weak even to my own self. The vet had just taken the sting out of my attack. After that I was simply reduced to a few lame barks now and then. But the mistress remarked, “Poor Snoopy! Look at him whining.” After that I decided to just shut my mouth.
The vet finished his preparations and came towards me. I stared at him, resigned to my fate. “ cute puppy, sit still and please do not be naughty,” he crooned. I think the words ’ just sit still’ were the ones which really made me snap. Was I supposed to sit still while he embarrassed me in front of my family? What about my resolution to fight unto death? Thus, with ill-timed fervor, I abruptly rose from my sitting position and the needle which had been held just above, slipped out of the vet’s hand and etched a neat scratch on my rear portion. The deadliest nark that I had been planning turned into a most heart-rending yowl. From now on, my solemn advice to every being is to learn the lesson of good timing.
The vet, to my added indignantion remarked, “ It’s just a small scratch. It will heal soon enough. I will give him the injection anyway.” This time I did not move a muscle while he injected me and then I retreated into the darkest corner of the house.
My rear end has never felt so painful. I incite agonizing nerve signals from my brain and an amused laugh from my master every single time I try to sit and let out a whimper. My master says sadistically with the widest smile on his face,” This is the best lesson for you.” So much for ideal of sharing the joys as well as the sorrows of life. I am sure the trauma of this is going to last for ever long.
-the hobbit